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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

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I'm going to start this again...it's a bit therapeutic.

Today was an interesting day. It seemed to start off fine, but I truly wasn't in the best of moods. I woke up unable to put my contacts in my eyes forcing me to wear my glasses, which I don't really mind but I don't like wearing them in the summer time. But I thought if that was the worst thing that happened then I'm pretty blessed. And that for the most part that was the worst thing to happen. My internship today was not very fulfilling. My boss was pretty preoccupied with other commitments today so I was given the task to look up possible sponsors for an upcoming music festival along with making copies and putting together packets. I got out 15 mins early though so that was good. Then I got home and went for a run which was nice and followed that with some leftovers for dinner. Writing about my day seems to help today because I realize that it wasn't bad at all. Just not very fulfilling. Stress-less, yes, which I suppose is always a good thing.

I looked over some other's xangas tonight. Some of them made me think of times when I was truly at peace with myself and everything around me. I think that is my goal for life. Well, maybe even a short term goal. Inner peace. I just want to happy and peaceful. I don't care if that sounds earthy or hippie or whatever else. It's true. I wake up some mornings with this guilt or something that feels like it. I just don't wake up feeling that great and wanting to conquer the day. And that's ok sometimes, but I don't want to feel that way. It really hit me when I listened to some music today that I hadn't heard in a while. It made me remember a house show I was at last fall semester. It was the perfect setting with tea lights (about 50 of them, a bit of a fire hazard but pretty just the same) and some of the best music I have heard in years. Pure music. Nothing altered by computers or sound boards. No mixing of the vocals or the instruments. Just pure, talent-filled music. It was refreshing and inspiring. And I realized that I haven't been in that environment in a while. Even this past semester. Maybe I get some of my inner peace by listening to music performed not only live, but by people who I know and talk to on a regular basis. It's just kind of nice.

As for the rest of the week I'm having lunch with a good friend who I haven't seen since Easter. Then I'm making a trip about an hour north to visit a certain boy. Then my internship again on Thursday, work on Friday and Saturday. It's going to be a good week and I'm in a mood that I personally like. It's quite modest in a way and that's how I like to be. Perhaps I'm not as eccentric as I like to think I am. I'm a quite person by nature I think, and to try and change that would be wrong. I owe it to others and myself to be who I'm suppose to be and who I like to be. The end.

 


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